It’s never too late to pivot.
The Momentum Trap
I didn’t grow up dreaming of Hollywood. I left France to study business at William & Mary and play Division-1 golf. [Here’s the golf story→]
After graduation, I began my career in marketing at Chanel in New York City. That path eventually led to modeling, then commercials, and finally at 29 years old to my first acting class. Ironically, while “pretending” to be someone else, I felt more like myself than I ever had.
Acting became my passion. It connected me to parts of myself I had buried long ago. It challenged me. It humbled me. It asked me to be present in a way nothing else had.
Over time, it led to roles in films like The Devil Wears Prada, Dinner for Schmucks, and Iron Man 3, and to television series including A Million Little Things.
From the outside, it looked like momentum.
Inside, it was more complicated.
The Unraveling
About ten years into my acting career, when things were finally taking off, I found myself riddled with self-doubt and anxiety, convinced everyone would realize I wasn’t good enough for the “big” stage.
In an industry built on visibility, I had quietly begun tying my worth to outcomes and other people’s opinions. Success wasn’t quieting the critic in my head. If anything, it gave that voice a megaphone.
I clung to the old “fake it ‘till you make it” mantra but then began editing who I was, what I said, and how I behaved just to feel like I belonged.
It was mentally and emotionally paralyzing.
I felt I didn’t know how to be mySELF.
The Leap
On a train ride from New York to Boston, where I was filming at the time, I reluctantly picked up a self-help book. At the time, this was definitely not my thing. By the time I arrived, I had finished it and realized the principles deeply resonated… yet, I wasn’t living by any of them.
I bought a pack of flashcards, wrote down takeaways, and flipped through them every morning before going to set. They became “mental reps” that gradually replaced toxic self-talk with something more supportive.
That was the first version of my Playbook. It began as a survival tool to steady my mind and manage my thoughts.
It became a way to come back to what mattered and led to the greatest mindset shift of my life.
What I’ve Learned
I’ve learned that life isn’t a straight line.
That pivots are allowed… at any age.
That unscripted moments are far more beautiful than polished performances (on stage and in life).
That listening may be one of the greatest gifts we can offer each other.
That vulnerability is the shortest path to belonging and laughter.
(Wink, wink to Our Boob Stories, one of the most collectively vulnerable projects I created.) [Explore Boob Stories→]
I believe that humor helps us survive and grow.
That the small things are not small.
That we don’t have to navigate life alone… even if sometimes it feels like our only option.
I’ve learned that when the façade drops, real connection begins.
The Teachers We Don’t Choose
When your hardest moments become your greatest teachers.
My older brother was my hero. A rebel, a Rastafari, he inspired me to think independently and never follow the herd. He also showed me how easily any of us can lose our way, as I watched him struggle with heroin addiction. Long after he passed, he continues to shape how I see the world, reminding me that we all carry a backstory no one else can see.
Silence and stigma can isolate and shame us. My brother inspires me in everything I do to make space for compassion, connection, and conversations that move beyond reserved niceties, closer to the truth of things.
How It Shows Up Today
These lessons gradually shaped how I work, create, and connect with others.
As an actor, I’m drawn to stories that embrace our complexities, contradictions, and beauty… the full, unscripted range of our humanity.
As the author of SELF!SH, those original flashcards have evolved into a workbook that helps others embrace their own stories, rebuild their confidence, and create their own Playbook for life. [Explore the Book→]
As a keynote speaker, I bring storytelling and grounded practices to professionals and students navigating rejection, pressure, and pivots, inviting audiences to invest in their mindset so they can better navigate life’s uncertainty.
Giving back is a natural extension of compassion. I’m proud to serve as an ambassador for Give an Hour, and donate half of my book proceeds to support mental health services for those in need.
And golf, the game that shaped my competitive spirit, remains a metaphor I return to often: One shot at a time. Come back to the now. On the course, on the stage, and in life.
"We are the authors of our own lives. It’s never too late to begin a new chapter."
- Stephanie Szostak
- Stephanie Szostak
An Invitation
Life never really leaves us alone. There will always be challenges, change, loss, joy, and new beginnings. While we’re here, we might as well learn to navigate it all with a little more presence, authenticity, and humor along the way.
If any part of this journey resonates with you, I invite you to explore SELF!SH or reach out to discuss a speaking event for your team.
Write your own playbook… and live it.
© STEPHANIE SZOSTAK 2026 | Designed by RE-TOOL®